TWENTY-FIVE
This birthday, this age, is so exciting to me! The number 25 seems set apart from all of the other ages. Could it be because I have officially reached my mid twenties? Or is it that I have finally started living the life that I’ve always wanted to live?
The answer could be that both are true.
In the event of turning a year older I have done a lot of reflecting. Only to realize that year twenty-four was certainly my most transformative year to date. I remember getting to last year’s birthday and telling myself that when I turn twenty-five, I do not want to recognize this version of me/
And this birthday wish came true.
I look back on year twenty-four and even the entirety of my early twenties and see nothing short of lessons learned and growing pains. But, for the first time I can honestly say that I’ve made it. Through it all, I’ve made it to my dream life. My Arizona life.
With a new life and age ahead of me, I wanted to take the time to share with you the things that I am taking with me and the things that I am leaving behind.
The things that I learned in the past that will stay in the past:
You are made to “fit into a box.
Growing up we are compared to the peers in our school. When it comes to testing, performance, disabilities and extra-curriculars–our success was based on the standards or the :status quo” if you will. More than that, if you look at nearly any application process, we have to check boxes. Boxes to identify with a certain religion, gender, ethnicity or political party. And even worse than that, we are conditioned to believe that we are only able to associate with people of those same boxes.
But what is the fun of that? We are all created to be individuals. The hardest thing to learn in my twenties was this very thing—difference adds value. A day of scrolling social media would wreck me because I would notice that someone else my age graduated college, got married or had a baby. In those moments I would discredit the traction I was making in my own life. But now I realize that we are all supposed to live differently.
Life would not be worth living if we were all the same. It is not about a box anymore. It is about creating a life that YOU dream of, and learning from the world around you!
We can control and manipulate the narrative.
To clarify–I am talking about when something is notably going wrong, or your gut is trying to tell you something, but you convince yourself that it is not the truth. You begin manipulating and controlling the reality to make it the dream you actually want it to be. There were so many times I would find myself doing this but I could not have been further from my dream life,
This always left me feeling so unfulfilled. It left me stagnant in relationships, environments and behaviors that I was never meant to be in for so long. While I believe everything happens for a reason, I also believe that it is mature to want to be better at letting the toxic situations speak for themselves.
Belong to your truth! Anything that falls short of that is not worth keeping in your life.
Tomorrow is a guarantee.
The mundane things in life always make us feel as if we have more time. In terms of work I think about the times I save the email responses for “tomorrow” or the filing for “tomorrow”. This is not done out of ill intentions or laziness, but because there is simply not enough time in a day to do it all. But the issue is that this habit can translate into the sweeter things life can bring.
We think that we have “tomorrow” to make that phone call, take the vacation, or visit the family member. But I refuse to believe that the better days are yet to come. This is the best day. And if you do not feel this way, then what would make this day better?
In my case it would be to buy the coffee, create the blog, hangout with friends and take a long walk with Magnolia! Shoot–maybe even book the vacation.
Tomorrow is not waiting for you, today is.
The things I have learned and will take with me:
Your gut feeling is always right.
Of course this is my first one. I am a firm believer that we are designed to protect our hearts in all scenarios the same way that animals protect themselves in the wild. If you think about it, we are mammals after all!
Protecting your heart means to check in with yourself and see how things are truly making you feel. Whether it be that you are considering a break-up or deciding whether or not to take a new job–your body knows how it feels the moment it is presented the question. Why would you ever deny that?
I feel that if we were better at listening to our gut, it would save us time on things that are not worth our time. It would lead us to the places and spaces we are meant to be. Listening to our bodies is the best resource we have to living a fruitful life.
So, yeah. Not a day goes by where I do not check in with my heart and continue to follow where my peace is.
The best love is from those that choose to love you.
We grow up complacent in the love that is closest and most available to us. It is easy to believe the best love is from those within your family or circle of family friends. While their love is unique and valuable, they are conditioned to love you through the lens of all that you have been through. But sometimes it is refreshing to be loved by people that choose to love the version of you that is still standing.
After a cross-country move I have learned to love a life that is shared with those that know me for me. I am not the little girl that went through her parents divorce, or the teenager that was in the hospital for a year straight losing her eyesight. In their eyes I am the adult that brings value to their lives. As simple as it may seem, that is the love that I need as I am healing through adulthood.
Fear does not stop the mission.
It seems that as we are placed in boxes and living life in worldly ways, we build fear towards the things that are unfamiliar. In my twenties this fear was most specifically casted on the bigger dreams I had in my heart. Let’s face it–big dreams, life changes, and the unknown of it all is absolutely terrifying.
But life has given me this renewed understanding of fear. Instead of allowing the fear to have this negative power oer my life, I have realized that being fearful means there is an opportunity to grow. If you think about all of the times you have felt fear in your life, I can almost guarantee that you received the opposite by overcoming the fear. Fear driven by insecurity only leads to a place of confidence. Fear driven by lack of intelligence only brings you to a place of wisdom and knowledge. If you face the fear you have the luxury of receiving its opposite—what a gift!
From the words of my wise eleven year-old cousin, “fear kills dreams, but dreams kill fear”.
As we all know, my best decision to date was moving across the country. I get to spend year twenty-five in the place I always dreamed of being. But making this decision forced me to let go of control over the things that were not serving me. It was stepping outside of my boxes and realizing that tomorrow was not coming for me, only the promises of today.
Getting to the best year of my life was done by listening to my gut and chasing my peace. Since living here, I have loved this life with new people and made memories that I will cherish forever. And, my goodness, I have learned more about myself in the past seven months than I ever have. I have learned what the “good” life looks like.
How? You might ask.
Because I did not let fear stop my mission.